This is a sticky note... From March, the 3 first commentator on my posts that begin with this heart, will get some points! Read further here for more information. Thank you and have fun!
Showing posts with label Reflection Room. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reflection Room. Show all posts

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Don't Quit!

Dedicated to my friends, if you happen to have troubles and sorrow these days...
Rest if you must, but don't quit..

Friday, March 21, 2008

Why this Friday is Good Friday?

Because today is the moment when Justice and Love meet...

Justice always stands for the righteousness and perfection, Justice can't just forgive and forget one single mistake because there is always consequences in every mistake we've done. Just like the police officer has to fine us when he found us breaking the rules. It's his duty to maintain the justice and fine us because of our mistake.

On the contrary... Love always giving, always forgive and forget.... To be opposite to Justice, Love doesn't want to punish us, love wants to set us free from our punishment even though we have mistakes... love forgives no matter how many mistakes we've done. Love doesn't remember bad things we've made. Love really accept who we are even though our deeds have hurt Love.

How Justice and Love could meet? They are so different, they are so contradictory! Justice can't stand of any mistakes at all, every mistake has to be punished... and if all the mistakes are counted, punishment is too hard to bear! Love really wants to deliver us from this unbearable punishments... love doesn't want us to suffer because of our own mistakes. What a dilemma...


This dilemma was experienced by General Shamilla. In early 20 century, Shamilla led a group of revolutionists who strove to defeat the dictator Tsar in Russia. They lived as guerrillas in deserts and brought their families as well. The food supplies were really important to them, that's why General Shamilla made an order, whoever stole the rations would be punished - whipped 50 times in front of all his people.

One day, the guard came to General Shamilla and reported him that there was someone who stole the food supplies and they have managed to catch the thief. Shamilla was furious, and told the guard to bring the thief to him. He was trembled and shocked as he saw the thief brought to him... He was very sad when he found out that it was his own beloved mother who stole the food supplies!

He faced a great dilemma... if he stood for Justice, he has to whip his old mother 50 times and she might died! If he didn't punish her because of his Love, he will not be a good leader and no one will respect him as a fair leader anymore. He decided that the punishment has to be done.

The next day, all his people has gathered in a field to see what happened. The crowds were divided into two major opinions... Some people said, Shamilla
has to punish and whip his own mother as a fair and respective leader, justice has to be maintained. If the thief was one of them, Shamilla will sure whip them so he shouldn't set her free just because she was his own mother. They wouldn't follow an unfair leader.

Some people said that Shamilla was a very mean leader if he dared to punish his own mother. He dared to do that to his mom, he surely would be more mean than Tsar. They didn't want another mean leader so they wouldn't follow Shamilla if he did whip his mom.

It was the time when the punishment has to be done. The executor was reader with the long scary whip. Shamilla's mom was placed in the middle of the field and all the eyes stared at Shamilla and his mother. All hearts beat so fast, felt intense of what would happen in a minute.
The crowds were silent when Shamilla came forward to announce his decision.

"For the sake of Justice, the punishment has to be done."

The executor raised his whip... "STOP!!" forbid Shamilla. Shamilla approached his mom, and hugged her... he said,"Mom,I love you... don't worry about this, I will do this punishment for you..." Then Shamilla told the executor to whip him instead of his mother.... he was whipped as a replacement of his mother... he was punished to set his mother free... that was when Justice and Love met... when there was a sacrifice...

This Good Friday is the moment of God's justice and God's everlasting love meet in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ at the cross. All of our sins and mistakes has to be punished because God is a Just. God is holly and He can't accept any single sin. He is to punish us because all of us are sinners. No matter how good we are, we are not perfect and can't fulfill God's holiness standard to receive the glory of heaven. We all are condemned to be punished in hell forever. However, God loves us so much that He really doesn't want to punish us. That's why Jesus has to come to set us free... be crucified to set us free from our punishment. He was punished instead of us... He sacrificed His life because of his love for us.. to set us free... so that we could live...

For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life... but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.

Happy Easter...

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Do you really love me?

I asked God, "How much do You love me?"

The Lord stretched out His arms, to be nailed on the cross...

Happy Easter, my friend... read the whole story here.

Question of the day:
What does forgiveness mean to you?

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Root or Die

Been very lazy to write a post... I am occupied with my desire to make a new lay out and using new templates. Headache but too curious to stop!

Ok, forget it... now let's see what I have done to my beautiful flowers in my garden!
This is our favorite flowers and we love to have it covers our canopy on our carport. My neighbor loves it as well, and they want the flowers on their canopy too. *grin* After several years being so proud and beautiful, we were getting worried of the roots! It's so wild, it appears everywhere! See the red circles, they are only some of their branches, sprout from the ground...
I decided to put the main root into a big water jug... I told our gardener (came once a month) to cut down the roots and put them in it after he made a hole on the jug first.

The day after we cut down the root, the plant became withered... and finally dry and died!
What a pity... so catastrophe... we have no beautiful canopy any longer...

What I've clearly reminded:
We have to root spiritually in God so we can bloom a beautiful life as others can enjoy it as well. When we lost connection with our Creator, we have no spiritual roots in Him, our life will become dry... weak... tasteless... empty... fragile... ready to die...
I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in Me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. John 15:5

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Buy Unpeaceful Feeling?

And this is the answer of my question....

---taken from the first post of this blog!---

I almost spent some money to buy 'un peacefull' feeling!
sorry about my vocab.. I don't know what is the word to explain my feeling..
have you experience... you pay but you don't feel peaceful?

I subscribe tv cable yesterday.. and I joke with the technician.. I said I want to watch 'gold program' but pay 'silver program' instead.. ( you know what I mean?) silver program has only 26 channel while gold program has 46 channel.. We have to pay more to get all channels of course..

Suddenly the technician said to me,

"You can pay silver program forever and watch gold program..You pay me 500.000 rupiah ( around 62 us dollar), and you can have it. This is one and only life chance..."

I was tempted! I paid him 350.000 rupiah.. 44$ ! No one would knows..

At first, I felt happy.. felt lucky.. and my hubby didn't mind that as well, but deep in my heart I began to feel uneasy..

The next day.. in the morning.. I read the bible.. our daily bread.. at philippians 3...

watch out for those dogs, those men who do evil, those mutilators of the flesh...
...what is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord...

and I felt bad... God really spoke to me through the words... and what I did was wrong... I told my hubby.. and he felt the same..

I prayed to God.. God, I didn't want to be like Eve, causing her hubby doing something wrong..

I felt awful... I have paid more.. to buy this unpeaceful feeling..!

Thank God, the technician came again at the afternoon! I still owe him 6$ and he came to take it..So I asked him to change the 'gold' one into the real silver that I have paid. I said that I can't watch the channel peacefully.

Luckily he didn't mind.. and he even returned my money... I didn't take all refund.. I gave him 6$, so I got my 38$ back. Thanks God for a chance for me to get my peace back!

The technician could never come back to get his 6$ and I couldn't change the gold into silver again... right? but I really thank God I could make the right decision..

I almost paid 44$ and lost my peace forever! May be I will become insensitive to God's words if I didn't listen Him and do what I read from the bible, and finally I will lose God's guidance in my life as well... how terrible...

Monday, August 20, 2007

8 things about me - 8 things that makes me who I am now

I want to write about 8 things about me... as I am not so diligent to draw like Emila, I just want to modify it a little bit... 8 things that makes me who I am... Sorry BokJae for this modifications, as I think I have write too much things about me and make the readers get bored... *hugs BokJae*

* 8 Things that Makes Me who I am now*

1. My mom's (and dad's) prayers. If it is not because their prayers, I will not become a woman like I am now. During teenagers I was a rebellious young girl, who has made my parents cried for several times. Although I went to church and love God from my childhood, I always have bigger curiosity about sins. I 'almost' fell into many serious mistakes and made many wrong choices. I knew what was good and right, but I was too curious to try my limits. So during my teen ages and twenties I walked 'on the edges'. My parents couldn't stop me, but their prayers could. I was saved, until I passed all my struggles and become a grown up woman, I was saved.

2. My spiritual fathers - Mr. Stephanus Theophilus, Mr. Benny Solihin and Mr. Robby Chandra.

During my rebellions I has someone who walked beside me, and I call them spiritual fathers. Mr. Stephanus Theophilus is my big brother who 'watch' me and sometimes 'allow' me to try something - like smoking... :-) Though I seemed not to care to him, but deep in my heart I respected him as my 'spiritual watcher.' He didn't forbid me frontally... he just be there and took an eye of me.

Mr. Benny Solihin accompanied me during my transition from teen ages to twenties. I learned how to grow spiritually, how to serve God and how to 'break up' with someone... :-) In my heartbreak he strengthened me and assured me that someday he will see me having a happy family with the right man. He taught me how to pray, how to be still and know that He is God.

Mr. Robby Chandra was my spiritual dad in my twenties. He found my talents and motivated me in many ways. He accepted me in his family and he taught me about having a leadership in creative way.

3. My dad who keep on update on technology.
I always feel that I am lack of my 'real' friends (not cyber friends) who go online and blogging. Sometimes I feel lonely and lack of supports as I do this adventures on my own. This reminds me of my beloved Dad. He always be up to date. When internet received in Indonesia, my dad installed it at home. When many of my friends didn't familiar with internet and computers, my dad always provided us with new technology. Computer in my former house was rarely turned off! We sat in front of it alternately... in the mom... then me... or my sis.. or my mom again... and late at night my dad... :-) Thanks to my dad, I am who I am now...!

4. My hubby : married with this wonderful man is a blessing. He always supports me to grow my talents. He also often tells me about many things I have to change and do some corrections. Sometimes he can show me a positive things from his parents that can be imitated. He is my partner, he is my leader at home and he is my soul mate. We share the same vision of life.

5. My children : I wrote several times that God gave me children to mold, shape and change me. Never I think too much if I say something to people, except to my children. I really learn to think before say something to my kids. I truly aware what I said and did will affect their conducts and feelings, and their futures. I have to learn very hard about this and find it very difficult to do this responsibility to be a good example of life.

6. My friends : Life is like a puzzle, we walked through our life step by step, time after time. Sometimes we have to face it alone, but there were times when we walk it hand in hand with other people. That's what we call it FRIENDSHIP.

7. My sister : I only have one sister and as long as I remember, our relationship is just like sister should be, :-) I always hope my children have a good relationship between siblings, like ours. We share many things together... both of burdens and joy... she accompanied me since I was two and I accompanied her all her life! *smile*

8. The last but the most important : My Heavenly Father.
I am sure that behind all things that happens in my life, behind every person that presented in my path, He is The Controller. Nothing is coincidence in my life that happen without His control. If I have so many people that care and guide me, it is Him who placed them in each area of my life. He knows what I need, He provides all to shape and mold me, so I can be His instrument to spread His love towards other. And this is the purpose of this posting, tell the world that He is my Controller.

Well, I am to tired to tag others... you are most welcome if you want to tag yourself with this... Thank you for reading!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Say No Evil Boot Camp

I was invited by Karen to join her camp: Say no evil. The rules are:

1) No lying
2) No flowery speech
3) No harsh speech

I am not quite healthy nowadays, my voice even get hoarse. So I rarely speak these day... that's my advantage join this camp... will say no evil and no flowery speech, will say nothing at all! LOL.... I only say hoarse speech... how about that? Just kidding.

Lying... I always try hard not to lie in any conditions, and I emphasize it to my house members as well. God hates lies. I agree with Karen, lies is evil that's why I support your camp, Karen.

Flowery speech... I am not a kind of person who can put many flowers in my speech... :D Actually, I think I should learn to say kindness and nice things to others. I try to say many blessings and praise to my kids, to motivate and comfort them. Say it with flower is different from flowery speech, right? Hahaha....

No harsh speech... yes, this is the hardest part. I am trying to eliminate my harsh habit. Be nice and bless others. Not to be harsh is actually need patient... we have to be a thoughtful person, try to understand why other do this and that.

I am reading a Dorothy Law Nolte's Children Learn What They Live. It is a great book, I learn many things from this book, including no harsh speech. It is the first rule, if children live with criticism, they lean to condemn... that's serious!

Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte

Thursday, August 9, 2007

10 Things that Happened to Me

I've been tagged by someone for the first time! Before this, I didn't understand what been tagged mean... but now I know... thanks to MissQuotes Fion for tagging me. I feel honored!

Here's my list of 10 Things that Happened to Me :
  1. Making bible study series for teenagers
  2. The saddest things in my life : last days with my dad
  3. I have a guarantee for my next life
  4. Meet my little friends again after 20 years
  5. Unforgettable birthdays : twice...
  6. Participating in theater and drama
  7. Got a wonderful hubby
  8. Being a mom is so beautiful
  9. I am a die hard fans of F4... LOL
  10. Learn to blog and make money
Okay let's get detail about my list...

1. Making a study bible series for teenagers

After I graduated from Faculty of Letters, I worked in curriculum department at my church. We made bible study series for teenager and I helped them as a creative and graphic designer. For teenagers, bible study should be fun and attractive. We realized this, so we put some games and many creative activities to help teenagers like to study the bible. I think it was a valuable and important ministry, so that the teenagers can learn about Him in a creative way. We have 12 books in that series.

2. The saddest things in my life : last days with my dad

Last January 2005, my dad was detected to have lung and heart cancer. My sister and I were pregnant at that time. The day my sis knew she was pregnant, the same day we also knew about the cancer. This will be a very long story, full of struggle and tears. I really want to write a book about this... but have not had a determination to start writing. My dad has returned to God's side on May 21, 2005. We have 3 months of unforgettable grief and great memories with him. Until now, we still miss him very much. My dad is a great man. Many people love him and hope he is still alive... I love you dad.

3. I have a guarantee for my next life

I am sure that when I am died I will be going to heaven. I am sure I will meet my dad again someday. Our life is short and all of us will die sooner of later. But do you know where are you going after this life? Don't die before you are sure you are going to heaven.

4. Meet my little friends again after 20 years

Last year was incredible. I got an email from my ex-elementary school friend, Mulky. Soon we collected our school friends that had never met for 21 years! You can imagine that.... we talked about our wonderful memories in our childhood.... every little things are funny and memorable. We even have a nostalgia book now.... inside the book was written all of memories we recall... Glad to have them as my friends, they all are part of my life...

5. Unforgettable birthdays : twice...

Still talking about friends, I have two unforgettable birthdays. Back to 1992, when I was at university, I have some funny creative friends who love me and gave me a surprise birthday party. I will never forget their kindness and effort to celebrate my birthday. I will write the story in my other blog at Inspirationsbank. Though the blog is still under construction, I hope you will bookmark it as it will be a great blog, I promise! Thanks to Yeny, Patricia, Maya, Agus and Enrico for the birthday surprise. Because of them I can make an Inspirationsbank now.

After that unforgettable birthday, I always try to celebrate my friend's birthday in many ways. Since then, I know that it is so wonderful if I can write something memorable in other people's life. There was a friend who has never blow a birthday candle in his life before... other friend said she never been celebrated before... so it's so wonderful if we could remember other people's special day... we can make them feel special as well! As a result, many friends wanted to make 'revenge' to me... and celebrate my birthday so unexpectedly! Wait for the details on !

6. Participating in theater and drama

I've mentioned before in my posts that I participated in theater and performance. It's the ministry I love to do at my church. Last saturday I also played a skit in Marriage Enrichment meeting. Next November I will ask my hubby to play a skit with me... *wink*

7. Got a wonderful hubby

Through many heartbreaks and searching for a soul mate, I finally was found by someone! :-)
When I was very young I prayed to God and asked specific things for my husband to be. I wrote them down and prayed. Apparently this prayer list was the one who confirm me and make me sure that God has delivered a husband to be to me, right in front of me! *smile*

This man, told me he like me but I was still not sure that I want to get steady with him. One day, in front of my house, he smiled at me as saying goodbye... and BUM!! I suddenly realize something! Just like being strike by lightning it came to my consciousness : he has dimple in his cheeks! As if I heard a voice : "You asked a man with dimple in his cheeks to Me before, didn't you My child?" hahaha.... after he came home, I thought a lot. I then remembered that I also ask God for a man who had never has a girl friend. And 'this' man has all requirements I prayed about. Yeah, I know my prayer list was kind of silly though there were some other things on the list I don't reveal here, but it really helped me to make sure that my hubby is really God's gift only for me!

God is good and He answers prayers.

8. Being a mom is so beautiful.

Being a mom is one of God's way to mend us. Many times many was I come to God asking for wisdom and patient. Children are precious responsibility. As parents we pray a lot for their spiritual health, striving not to hurt their feelings and help them to grow as God want them to be.

9. I am a die hard fans of F4... *blushed*

May be you don't know F4... They are Taiwanese Celebrities. Last 2002, I watched Meteor Garden and madly in love to F4! hahaha... whatever... I collect Pepsi can with their pictures on it, from Thailand, Hongkong and China. I also collect hundreds of vcd about their news and activities.
Above all, when that madness fade away, I still have good friends who used to be die hard fans as well. That's the most valuable bonus from my madness! LOL

10. Learn to blog and make money

I blog from May 2007 until now. Still learning, searching, trying and getting confused... Actually I blog in xanga since 2000, but not too serious about blogging. This year I try to know and learn more. I also bought domain name and try to self host my blog with wordpress. But you know, all these things need to be learned. I am glad I have some friends I can ask about these internet things, but the one and only friend who is capable in wordpress has gone last week. I don't know where he is and what happen to him. I can't contact him anymore. So sad...

Well okay... I've done with my rambling thoughts.. it's my turn to read 10 great stories about this tag now! If your name appeared on the list below, You've been tagged by me!

1. My dear couple Jimmy and Luvena
2. Jen from Imperfectmom
3. Peregrin from Kebunbelakang
4. Lara Gallagher from Lazy organizer : I admire this lady!
5. Dawn, my new friend from twocrazydogs
6. Deborah from Fastfastlane
7. My friend Silvia, please spend your time to write this
8. Laurel Wreath, a wonderful lady.
9. Homemom3, thanks for your respond, hope you can share your life with me.
10. Just a touch of sweetness, Jess, I am sure you can find sweet things to write!

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Like son like father or Like father like son?

Don’t know how they can act like this, but when I saw them I asked them not to move and hurriedly took their picture! This father and son were using the same color, watching football on TV and sitting in the same pose… haha.. Do you think my son imitate his dad or on the contrary, my hubby imitate his son?

Whatever it was, this picture reminds us that our behavior is being watched by others. Whether in the family, in community or at work, wherever we are, people watch how we live and be influenced. We also get influenced by others. Especially for parents, we have to be aware all the time to be a good example to our children.

Every time we see our children’s behavior we can see our reflections through them. When I hear their tone when they speak, dialect they use, the way they laugh or angry, I notice similarities among family members.

Cliff even imitates very small things… if his nanny sing Barney song, “One two buckle my shoes…three four..” Cliff will laugh, put his hand on this head and says, “Forget!” Why? Because his nanny always do that as she can’t remember the whole song. She always put her hand on her head and says, “I forget!”

Hope this post can be a reminder for us, to be a good influence for other… have a blessed day.

Friday, July 6, 2007

Five love language

Intermezooo... I take a test about what love language I have... Words of affirmation is my language!

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Words of Affirmation
with a secondary love language being
Physical Touch.

Complete set of results

Words of Affirmation:
Physical Touch:
Quality Time:
Receiving Gifts:
Acts of Service:


Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Happy Father's Day!

Today is a Father's day and we celebrate it with going to the park and rent a becak... and we also watch a clip of Rick and Dick Hoyt. It's the most inspirational father and son team to race in an Ironman. A really amazing love of a father, who take his disable son to the iron man challange. We can watch how much his father do all his best to make his son experience the triathlon challenge.

You MUST SEE this video if you never watch it... You'll never regret watching it.

Have you seen it? What do you think?
You can also read the story transcript and enjoy your father's day...

So, Happy Father's day! Being a Father is a great blessing and responsibility!

Monday, May 14, 2007

The Meaning of being a mom...

Being a woman is given, but being a mom is a choice
Yes, I choose to be a mom and I am very happy and blessed that I have an opportunity to be a fulltime mom. So many woman want to be a fulltime mom but they have to work to support her family... I thank God I can be a housewife. For me, a housewife mean a Vice Director of Human Resources Improvement (the director is my hubby of course) -- and our Boss is The Creator, God Almighty. Being a mom for me means sharing our life to our family, and not to set ourselves as a number one priority. Every decision, every choice, every plan and everything I do and think is for the sake of my kids and hubby... how to make my kids reach their maximum potential in their life.
Being a mom is a 24 hours 7 days job, without salaries. But many of us really feel blessed, right?

In our life, we influence others or being influenced by others... and it can be positive or negative influence... I have to be aware everytime, whether I was influenced or I influence other by a positive thing. Being a mom means we are having a freedom how we can influence our family, by our deeds, by what we say or do...

Besides being influenced and influence other, we also value or being valued by others...
What we write, what we say, what we do... just like an open book, seen by others and off course valued/judged... We also judge/value others, whether we realize or not.

Standard of value can be based on :
  • ourselves : eg. in my opinion... I think....
  • public's opinion, what the majority says.
  • God's perspective, what God's opinion, what's the Scripture say...
Personally, if my life is written in a book, I hope my children and descendant will read a good thing from me... a pure, right and virtue thing from my life. Hm..scary indeed... I am a sinner and not perfect woman... May God help us!

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Love Story

One day, I woke early in the morning to watch the sunrise. Ah the beauty of God's creation is beyond description. As I watched, I praised God for His beautiful work. As I sat there, I felt the Lord's presence with me.

He asked me, "Do you love me?" I answered,"Of course, God! You are my Lord and Saviour!"

Then He asked, "If you were physically handicapped, would you still love me?" I was perplexed. I looked down upon my arms, legs and the rest of my body and wondered how many things I wouldn't be able to do, the things that I took for granted. And I answered, "It would be tough Lord, but I would still love You."

Then the Lord said, "If you were blind, would you still love my creation?"

How could I love something without being able to see it? Then I thought of all the blind people in the world and how many of them still loved God and His creation.

So I answered, "It's hard to think of it, but I would still love you."

The Lord then asked me, "If you were deaf, would you still listen to my word?"

How could I listen to anything being deaf? Then I understood. Listening to God's Word is not merely using our ears, but our hearts.

I answered, "It would be tough, but I would still listen to Your word."

The Lord then asked, "If you were mute, would you still praise My Name?"

How could I praise without a voice? Then it occurred to me: God wants us to sing from our very heart and soul. It never matters what we sound like. And praising God is not always with a song, but when we are persecuted, we give God praise with our words of thanks.

So I answered, "Though I could not physically sing, I would still praise Your Name."

And the Lord asked, "Do you really love Me?"

With courage and a strong conviction, I answered boldly, "Yes Lord! I love You because You are the one and true God!"

I thought I had answered well, but God asked, "THEN WHY DO YOU SIN?"

I answered, "Because I am only human. I am not perfect."


No answers. Only tears.

The Lord continued: "Why only sing at fellowships and retreats? Why seek Me only in times of worship? Why ask things so selfishly? Why ask things so unfaithfully?" The tears continued to roll down my cheeks. "Why are you ashamed of Me? Why are you not spreading the good news? Why in times of persecution, you cry to others when I offer My shoulder to cry on? Why make excuses when I give you opportunities to serve in My Name?"

"You are blessed with life. I made you not to throw this gift away. I have blessed you with talents to serve Me, but you continue to turn away. I have revealed My Word to you, but you do not gain in knowledge. I have spoken to you but your ears were closed. I have shown My blessings to you, but your eyes were turned away. I have sent you servants, but you sat idly by as they were pushed away. I have heard your prayers and I have answered them all." "DO YOU TRULY LOVE ME?

I could not answer. How could I? I was embarrassed beyond belief. I had no excuse. What could I say to this? When my heart had cried out and the tears had flowed, I said, "Please forgive me Lord. I am unworthy to be Your child."

The Lord answered, "That is My Grace, My child."

I asked, "Then why do you continue to forgive me? Why do You love me so?"

The Lord answered, " Because you are My creation. You are my child. I will never abandon you. When you cry, I will have compassion and cry with you. When you shout with joy, I will laugh with you. When you are down, I will encourage you. When you fall, I will raise you up. When you are tired, I will carry you. I will be with you till the end of days, and I will love you forever."

Never had I cried so hard before. How could I have been so cold? How could I have hurt God as I had done? I asked God,

“How much do You love me?”

The Lord stretched out His arms, and I saw His nail-pierced hands.

I bowed down at the feet of Christ, my Savior.

And for the first time, I truly prayed.

Author Unknown.